Welcome to the Brainiacs

There is no one solution for one problem, so all these advice experts are full of shit… and you can tell them Super-Id said so. Different strokes, people. So Super-Id has gathered a panel of life experts to answer any and all of your life’s issues since we know-it-all. We are The Brainiacs.

DISCLAIMER

ATTENTION: Super-Id, Siggy Freud, any and all of the Brainiacs, our attorneys, the hosting company for this domain and anyone any of us know ARE NOT responsible for any actions, reactions, repercussions, injuries, physical, mental, emotional, verbal, spiritual or psychic abuse and/or any bad shit that may happen to you as a result of following any of the advice posted here. We assume zero liability after you scroll and read this post.

BUT, if any good befalls you from following Brainiac advice, you owe us and we want ours!

UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A

Brainiacs,

My husband is the best husband in the world. UNTIL he turns on the PS4. It’s like he goes into zombie mode and isn’t all the way competent with what’s going on outside of the video game.Playstation 4 Console

Do you think I should suggest a limit as to how long he can play? I feel like it’s taking away from our relationship and really irks me.

Mrs. Eff Sony

DEAR MRS. EFF SONY

Roger F. Bond

Roger F. Bond

Agent Saboteur
Mrs. Eff Sony,

You silly woman. When will y’all learn? Leave that man alone! Let him be!

Your man is home. With you. Playing a game. In the living room. And you’re complaining? Let me put your “issue” into perspective. Here is a list of things your husband could be doing instead of being at home with you.

(In no particular order)

  1. At work with his work wife.
  2. At a massage parlor negotiating his happy ending.
  3. In his car scouring Craigslist or Backstage looking for a hookup right then and there.
  4. At a bar pounding as many drinks as he physically can while Happy Hour is still in full effect and drunkenly spitting game to the closest female to him.
  5. With his side piece.
  6. With his jump-off.
  7. With his future second wife.
  8. Spending money out in these streets.
  9. Spending your money out in these streets.
  10. Man-whoring.
  11. Dead in the gutter.

And you want to bitch?

Do not offer to play with him as some sort of bonding experience because you will suck playing and fuck up his game and that will only cause more problems. Don’t touch the controller. Whatever you do, don’t do this or this. Seriously.

Listen, if he is playing Call of Duty, I can’t blame him. COD is crack and I’ve passed on eating food to play COD all night long.

If it still is an issue, you have to replicate or substitute the pleasure your husband receives from the game. My suggestion is to make his favorite food and adult beverage and serve it to him butt-nekkid (or scantily-clad). If he doesn’t put the controller down, the PS4 is the least of your worries.

P.S. > If for any reason you get rid of the PS4, the Super-Id office will gladly take it off your hands. Word!

Captain Caveman

Captain Caveman

The Sensitive Savage
Offer him something more stimulating than the game or within the context of the game. Dress up as one of the characters of the game, limit the amount of access he gets to the booty, or if you really want to fuck with his head, play with his joystick while he’s playing the game. He will make a choice since he can’t be committed to both!

Truly yours,

Captain Caveman

MEET THE BRAINIACS

Roger F. Bond

Roger F. Bond

Know-It-All
Man of the People. Reformed Man-Whore. Single. No Kids. Scorpio.
“First you get the paper, then you get the power, then you get the pussy.”
Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson

Civil Libertarian
Married… for now. Check back in a few months… King of Jump-offs & Side-Pieces. Baby Mama Drama.
“How much…?”
Captain Caveman

Captain Caveman

Sensitive Savage
Divorced with benefits. Philosophizing Gorilla Pimp. Lust at first sight. Love at first text.
“I love you. Can we fuck?”

Mr. Married w/Children

Mr. Married w/Children

The Poor Bastard
Reformed Serial Cheater. Contently married with two kids. Career Man. Has eaten hamburger everyday for 14 years and counting.

Who gave the best advice? Share your non-brainiac thoughts in the COMMENTS below.

 

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