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Do you think I should suggest a limit as to how long he can play? I feel like it’s taking away from our relationship and really irks me.
Mrs. Eff Sony
DEAR MRS. EFF SONY
You silly woman. When will y’all learn? Leave that man alone! Let him be!
Your man is home. With you. Playing a game. In the living room. And you’re complaining? Let me put your “issue” into perspective. Here is a list of things your husband could be doing instead of being at home with you.
(In no particular order)
- At work with his work wife.
- At a massage parlor negotiating his happy ending.
- In his car scouring Craigslist or Backstage looking for a hookup right then and there.
- At a bar pounding as many drinks as he physically can while Happy Hour is still in full effect and drunkenly spitting game to the closest female to him.
- With his side piece.
- With his jump-off.
- With his future second wife.
- Spending money out in these streets.
- Spending your money out in these streets.
- Dead in the gutter.
And you want to bitch?
Do not offer to play with him as some sort of bonding experience because you will suck playing and fuck up his game and that will only cause more problems. Don’t touch the controller. Whatever you do, don’t do this or this. Seriously.
If it still is an issue, you have to replicate or substitute the pleasure your husband receives from the game. My suggestion is to make his favorite food and adult beverage and serve it to him butt-nekkid (or scantily-clad). If he doesn’t put the controller down, the PS4 is the least of your worries.
P.S. > If for any reason you get rid of the PS4, the Super-Id office will gladly take it off your hands. Word!
MEET THE BRAINIACS
“First you get the paper, then you get the power, then you get the pussy.”
“I love you. Can we fuck?”
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