Welcome To The Brainiacs Advice Column

The BrainiacsWe know-it-all…

There is no one solution for one problem, which means all these individual advice experts are full of shit. So The Super-Id has gathered a panel of life experts from various walks of life to answer any and all of your life’s issues, drama, problems, questions, situations, and fuckeration since we know-it-all. If you have a question, we have answers. The rest is up to you.

We Fight Fuckery.

We are The Brainiacs.

#TheBrainiacs
#FightingFuckery

Ghostface Lova

or

The Case of Ghostface Lova aka I’m Dating Casper The Ghost

Dear Brainiacs,

Casper The GhostA guy and I were dating. Things were awesome for 3 months. We spent at least 2-3 days a week together, spoke on the phone all the time, etc. We took trips. He even took me to Thanksgiving with his family and introduced me as his GF. But then when we got back he said it was easier to intro me that way. Then a month later he said there were some loose-end situations he needed to work out and ghosted for two weeks. I didn’t flip out or call him out, I just chilled. And then all of a sudden he pops back up and wants to be thick as thieves again. What gives? And what should I do next?

/Ghostface Lova

Meet The Brainiacs

 
 
 
 

The Brainiacs Responses

Dear Ghostface Lova,

Let me keep it really simple for you.

1.) It’s always easier for a guy to introduce a girl as his girlfriend to his family. It’s hard to explain “we just fuckin’” to mom. Dad will get it. Not mom. Dad will respect his game. Not mom. So you’re the girlfriend cause it’s easier. Relationship status of least resistance.

2.) The loose end he had to work out was his girlfriend situation. You were (are) the sidepiece. Something was going on with the girl he spent 4-5 days a week together, saw all the time, etc. He needed two weeks of long discussions, break up sex, making up, make up sex, and finally the final break up with his main girl. Once that was done and over with, he was ready to elevate you from side piece to main chick.

3.) Embrace reality. You were the side chick. Now you are the main chick. You may backslide to side chick status or as the main chick, you may have to deal with the fact your boy might get a new side piece to replace the spot you just graduated from. Cold world.

Warmest regards,

/Roger F. Bond

 

Roger F. Bond

 

Dear Ghostface Lova, 

Two weeks hiatus is not a long time for you to be ruffling your feathers. When the man told you he needed to tighten up some loose ends, it was a way for him to tell you that he saw you more than just a temporary fling and he wanted to put himself in a position to make that happened. 

I will advise you to inquire about what those loose ends were. He might not have been completely forthcoming, but he wasn’t dishonest. You might be looking at your soulmate. See the glass half full. We all have baggage, and a lot of times it’s just temporary. 

Give the man and yourself a chance!

/Captain Caveman

Captain Caveman

Ghostface Lova,

Thank you for your story.. Allow me to return the favor and tell you a story of my own:

When I was growing up I had a cat named Bubbard. He was orange and had a brother that my sister named Tiger. To reiterate – my cat was Bubbard and my sister’s cat was named Tiger. The cats were brothers and obviously, my sister and I were siblings as well. So there was a symmetry to that time in my life. Sometimes I used to roll Bubbard up in a blanket (it was more of a duvet, but whatever…) Anyway, I would roll him up in that thing and throw him down the steps. It was fun for all involved! Except for Bubbard. Bubbard didn’t think it was fun at all and that dude was usually pissed at the end of the proceedings. Long story short – I think he may have gotten brain damage and developed a learning disability or something.

What does this have to do with your story you ask? 

NOTHING!!!!!!!

But, I just challenged myself to come up with an equally juvenile and pointless story as the one that you just told…  and I failed miserably.

My story was still better!

I hate not winning. I’m going to have to really dig in my memory banks to come up with a story that is as boring, as average and as pedestrian as the one that I just read that you wrote.

The guy liked you, then he had to handle some other biz now he likes you again? Seriously??? 

Super-ID crew, is there anyone at all screening these questions? Are we at least cutting out the ones that come from people in high school? [Editor’s Note: Ummm… no real comment to add here. So yeah…]

GhostFace Lova. Look – to answer your question – “What should you do?” Grow The Fuck Up! We have bigger problems then this shit. We’re about to have Trump as a president. Go out and vote. Get your friends to as well. Or, at the very least commit yourself to making your life more interesting, so that by the time you are on your death bed your best stories are of a better caliber than this shit.

You’re welcome.

Tootles,

/Angrymoon

Angrymoon.net

Dear Ghostface Lova,

You seem like a chilled out girl, so the question that needs to simply be asked is “where the fuck have you been?” This may incur an argument or just the plain truth, we here at The Super-Id like the truth. Be straight, that’s all! You’ll get the answers you need.

/Emilia Nardini

Emilia Nardini

Ghostface Lova,

I love these scenarios – things are hot and heavy at first, then the guys dips out for a few weeks/months and then comes back as if nothing happened. So you go on trips and even go to his family’s house for Thanksgiving, so you think “you good” and things will progress from there. I can tell you’re not wife material, because you didn’t mention a few things when you went to his family’s house, and I will need to know if you did the following:

1. Did you make a dish showcasing your cooking skill?

2. Did you make your man his plate? 

3. Did you help his mom clean up the table after or help with the dishes?

4. When the men were watching the game, and talking shit did you bring him a cold drink and give him a kiss on the cheek?

If you didn’t do any of those things – the mom didn’t sign off on you. She probably said something to him like: “What ever happened to…? I really liked her.” Being invited to Thanksgiving dinner is not necessarily “we’re a couple” statement. The first Thanksgiving dinner is often a test to see how you handle yourself around his family. From the looks of it, you failed. That’s why your boy disappeared for a month, to see if things would work out with an ex or someone else he had as a backup. No man takes a girl to the family for Thanksgiving, then around Christmas time disappears to resurface after the holidays. Any guy ain’t going to want to hear his mom and dad’s mouth on Christmas with persistent questions like, “What happened to the sweet girl you just brought over for Thanksgiving?” That is how I know the family wasn’t really feeling you, he dipped out during Christmas, didn’t get a gift (you would of mentioned it in the letter if he did). Two weeks later, Happy New Year!!!! your boy pops back up the second week in January, to pick up after the family pressure is off, and he can deal with it next Thanksgiving.

It is either the above scenario, or he was banging some chick from back in the days during the holidays because she is in only in town that time of the year to visit her family. Either way, you the stand in woman until he finds what he really wants.

/Married With Children

Married With Children

Ghostface Lova,

Hey girl hey! 

So, question – how much do you like homie? 

If you think he’s serious and you got future together and you got feelings for him, then it’s worth a “what’s up?” Dudes can ghost for many a reason and at least he came back after tying up said loose ends – some never make it back.

Sounds like homie might have been rocking out with you and potentially keeping a couple things rolling on the sideline. Also seems like you floated to the top into main chick. I mean, who doesn’t want to keep their options open until you know it’s real, right? 

Two weeks isn’t crazy long in the real world, but it does feel like it when you are used to talking to someone every hour of every day. But, if future is forever, then what’s a couple weeks right? 

Totally depends on what you want for your decision to dead it or not. If you are just rocking out and it’s cool, then rock out until it either it becomes something or changes otherwise. Just remember – being on chill makes you an easy choice, but you can’t be a doormat to dude, so if his behavior becomes pattern forming you know it’s time to Get Ta Steppin!

Happy humping!

/Le Reine

Le Reine

Got Fuckery?

You Need The Brainiacs!

We Fight Fuckery! Issues? Problems? Questions? Email Us At [Brainiacs @ TheSuperId • com]

If your fuckeration is bad enough, we’ll publish it and knowledge you The Brainiacs ways.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.