Please Step Up To The Head of the Class
Trying to decide if you want to receive oral sex from a female is one example of how it’s hard to be a guy. I’ll pause to let this sink in…
There is a female I know that I’m cool with. We chat. We joke. We get along. I tell her my guy stories to help you better understand men. She tells me her female stories because she is a female who feels the need to share every aspect of her life to any and everyone. She is prone to get all touchy-feely with the champ which is kinda weird for me since I don’t really find her physically attractive. She has a very attractive personality in a weird stereotypical blonde chick sort of way, but nothing about her has ever made any sort of deposit or visit into my spank bank. Now here is the rub, as a guy we sorta have an obligation to conquer lands available or neighboring to us. Was Napoleon happy with just France? Nope. Were the Greeks cool rocking with Greece alone? Nah. Hell, look at England! That little country damn near invaded the entire planet at one point or another. It’s what men do. And it’s what I’m inclined to do with blondie even if I don’t want to truly occupy her territory. I have to. It’s Manifest destiny.
Since I have to have sex with blondie, I need to make it work for me. This means my options are the two types of sex that work for men 60% of the time all the time which is either her on top (preferably reverse cowgirl) or getting some head (position is irrelevant cause you’re getting head – although laying down is nice). The allure is that neither require much work while still gettin’ some. And since I’m not sure I could “start” much less “finish” having actual sex with her, oral is the best and only bet. What man doesn’t get a chubby when gettin’ some head? Or hand release…?
The hard part is (no pun intended) letting her know that sex between her and I will constitute her with all of her clothes on, me not having to look at her, and she doing all the work and her not calling me a dick. I’m not a woman but I think that many would take offense to this, no?