Today's

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Today’s….

Carmen Electra

Carmen Electra Complex

It’s hard to think of a time in pop culture when Carmen Electra wasn’t around. It seems like she’s just always been here. Doing what exactly has never been crystal clear. Introduced to the world via the Prince of Royal Badness, Prince. Remember this? Anyone could see Carmen Electra was bad, but the fact that she was a “protege” of Prince elevated her into oh shit! status of badness. Rolling with Prince does this. Check the credits. They’re long.

Then Carmen Electra just became a thread in the entertainment world. Despite a co-sign from Purple Reign, we all knew she couldn’t sing. And this was in the pre-Dancing With The Stars era, so making a living as a dancer was not happening. Her acting ability made her a prime candidate for Skinemax flicks, but from some ungodly reason she eschewed that route to the dismay of Skinemax (horny guys) fans. So what do really hot chicks who can’t act like they’re paying attention do? Go on Baywatch. Baywatch was a beast. It made David Hasselhoff stupid rich and turned Pam Anderson into an icon (not to mention the red one-piece). It made sense that Carmen Electra would be a part of the cast. I’m sure the producers viewed her as the brunette Pam Anderson. Sadly, tits and Hasselhoff’s chest hairs had an expiration date and Baywatch went out to sea and like a piece of driftwood Carmen Electra bobbed and buoyed across small and big screens. You know Hollywood is a rough town when you marry Dennis Rodman.

It’s 2014 and Lord knows what Carmen Electra is doing career-wise. But I’m here to tell you it doesn’t matter. Carmen Electra is going to be alright. Shit. She’s going to be better than you and me. Why? She’s smoking hot. Even at age 42, she’s hot. I met Carmen at the Playboy Mansion a while ago. I was there for a party/concert and found myself next to her and we started chatting. When I tell you she was breathtakingly beautiful, let me say, she was breathtakingly beautiful. I swore there was pure sunlight from the heavens beaming down upon her as the clouds parted as she spoke to me. She is/will be taken care of. 

At this point in her personal career, she has one of two routes: marry an octogenarian billionaire from another country or link up with a young Hollywood stud who fondly remembers fapping to a red bathing suit clad Carmen Electra running through ankle high tidewater. Since she has no kids, she doesn’t qualify as a MILF, but since she is closer to 50 than to 30, she is now a cougar. She’s Today’s Cougar, though.

 

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Who wants to make a MILF out of Carmen Electra the Cougar? Share in the COMMENTS.

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