Cara Brett & Hannah Elizabeth
The Battle At Kings Cross Featuring Angrymoon.net v. Cara Brett and Hannah Elizabeth, Part II
Editor’s Note: Angrymoon.net and The Super-Id communicate damn near every day. 95% of the time it’s via text. When we got the text that he was across the pond in London and was about to shoot Hannah Elizabeth and Cara Brett, it took us some time to respond back. There weren’t enough emojis to accurately display our shock, pride, happiness, jealousy, and pure, unmitigated hate. Maybe there were, but we couldn’t be bothered at the time. We wanted, we needed details. Those details were sparse, but upon their return stateside, we saw the evidence of what will forever be known as The Battle At Kings Cross. Cara Brett and Hannah Elizabeth pitted against Angrymoon.net in a London hotel room. Two countries, two models, two websites will never be the same again.
This is Part II of a five part series brought to you vivaciousness of Cara Brett, the sultriness of Hannah Elizabeth, overseer of chaos theory, Angrymoon.net, and the big head & little head known as The Super-Id.
Enter Cara. Cara Brett is the hottest girl you’ve ever met underneath the disguise of being the coolest girl you’ve ever known. We are also convinced that Cara Brett is Satan, albeit in Satan’s most fun form. You will die hanging out with Cara, but you will die from smiling too much and too much fun in general.
Cara Brett is all the things in life that destroy men – sex, wrath, sloth and the rest of the bad stuff from that one Brad Pitt / Morgan Freeman movie [Editor’s Note: That movie is Se7en and we’re not 100% sure this metaphor Angrymoon tosses out there is 100% applicable since the killer had a strap-on made with a Rambo knife attached to it and had an innocent man fuck a hooker to death with it and did other wildly fucked up shit… but fuck it, we’ll roll with it.] On a kinetic energy scale that goes from 1-10 Cara is about 100,000 [Editor’s Note: Is this a richter scale? May have to nerd out and confirm if Cara is 100,000 on the richter scale for veracity].
We’ve hung out with this girl before and the experience almost killed us. Literally. Her Energy is insane. She’s a super-powered trouble girl. Shit will get broken when Cara shows up. Cara has made us miss meetings and flights and we’ve thanked her for it. Cara Brett = Fire starter [Editor’s Note: If this isn’t the greatest endorsement for Cara Brett to be sponsored by Fireball Whiskey, we don’t know shit.]. She’s the kind of girl that will be rocking the sexiest perfect one-piece leotard and soak her hands in baby oil, grab her own boobs with the leotard still on in order for the leotard to have her hand prints on it imprinted on them (see the pics!).
Cara Brett is the Doc Brown of models. There WILL be madness, but there is a method to it… I think [Editor’s Note: Think the Joker from Batman. Not Heath Ledger’s Batman, but the GOAT Joker, Jack Nicholson’s Joker who was a maniacal killer, but also very, very funny. Heath Ledger was good, but he just didn’t have the one-liners that Jack had. Yeah, that’s Cara!]. All the combatants were in the coliseum and the stage was set for arrests.
This is where shit started to go off the tracks.
“Shit will get broken when Cara shows up. Cara has made us miss meetings and flights and we’ve thanked her for it. Cara Brett = Fire starter”