The Battle At Kings Cross Featuring Angrymoon.net v. Cara Brett and Hannah Elizabeth, Part III
Editor’s Note: Angrymoon.net and The Super-Id communicate damn near every day. 95% of the time it’s via text. When we got the text that he was across the pond in London and was about to shoot Hannah Elizabeth and Cara Brett, it took us some time to respond back. There weren’t enough emojis to accurately display our shock, pride, happiness, jealousy, and pure, unmitigated hate. Maybe there were, but we couldn’t be bothered at the time. We wanted, we needed details. Those details were sparse, but upon their return stateside, we saw the evidence of what will forever be known as The Battle At Kings Cross. Cara Brett and Hannah Elizabeth pitted against Angrymoon.net in a London hotel room. Two countries, two models, two websites will never be the same again.
This is Part III of a five part series brought to you vivaciousness of Cara Brett, the sultriness of Hannah Elizabeth, overseer of chaos theory, Angrymoon.net, and the big head & little head known as The Super-Id.
This January Angrymoon went to London looking for gold. We had a list of the hottest girls in the Swinging City that we desperately needed to photograph. And that list included two of the blondest, baddest bitches in the Great Wen, Cara Brett (Playboy model and TV host/star) and Hannah Elizabeth (Playboy model and cover model) – both at the top of that list. The original plan was to shoot them separately [Editor’s Note: this may be the dumbest plan Angrymoon has ever come up with], but when Cara found out that we were shooting Hannah through social media, she strongly insisted on being there. Now you have the backstory, here is story of the evening that turned into the Battle At Kings Cross.
Ya know, here at Angrymoon, we have found ourselves in strange situations before that include, but are not limited to naked greased up girls running around the studio and torturing us with their bodies – that sort of stuff. It happens, but the events that took place at the Battle of Kings Cross tested even our constitution. Cara Brett and Hannah Elizabeth. Having these two buxom blondes in the same space at the same time wasn’t just on the verge on breaking some of the laws of physics [Editor’s Note: we believe the theory of relativity, the terrible shit that happens when matter and anti-matter come into contact with one another and what happens when the irresistible force meets the immovable object are all in play when it comes to Cara and Hannah in the same place at the same time] , but it was literally dancing with some devils in the pale moon light. Point is, we were in way out of our depth. Cara Brett and Hannah Elizabeth. These two were the best British exports since like ever [Editor’s Note: since Zoo and Loaded and all those other British laddy magazines have gone or are going away, this statement is 100% factually correct]. And we were on their turf. We were just some kids from the new world exploring the old country. Cara Brett is a wicked grin. Hannah Elizabeth Is Anna Nicole reincarnate, but better and blonder and with less drugs use [Editor’s Note: Just Say No. Super-Id, Angrymoon, and any other decent human being does not condone the use of drugs, despite the fact that marijuana is an herb and prescription drug abuse is rampant, and cigarettes are more harmful than… you get the point.]
Cara Brett and Hannah Elizabeth. It was like a knife fight in a phone booth. There was nowhere that you could look without bare, big, buxom, blonde boobs and baby-oiled bodies bashing our camera equipment and destroying hotel room property. This glamour photography thing is an occupational hazard. We understand that no one will cry us a river, but it’s not as easy as we make it look. The Battle At Kings Cross was like the most brutal toughest tag team match with the British Bulldogs and we didn’t have anyone to tag in. We were stuck there.